Love in the Time of Columnaris

fish-condoms-by-liza-dora

Though I am on a summer blog hiatus I have something I needed to share that I could not put to the side until August. I’ve been “hit on” twice this week. This is noteworthy for two main reasons. The first being I never really leave my house and the second is that I tend […]

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Mother’s Day

mothers-day-liza-dora

I’ve written this piece before. In my head, after she’s fallen asleep. In the car, on the way to work. In the hours of the morning I still have to myself. I didn’t deserve her today. Not the smile she gave me when I walked through the door. Not the tiny arms that ensnared my […]

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little time

little-time-lila-dora

I don’t really write poems. I don’t really like poems. But I like her, and today she said, “Mom, I don’t like it when you tell me you’re busy.” So, I put down my work and I picked her up. There’s only so long that they are little. Only so much ‘little time’.   Books […]

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Small Castles

small-castles-by-liza-dora

She looked forward to the birthday party all week. When her nanny asked what she would do at the party she shrugged and said “probably read some books”. She counted down the days, but when we arrived she wouldn’t leave my side. She ventured out to greet the birthday girl, but shied away from the […]

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Be Still

be-still-liza-dora

I don’t know how many times I’ve snapped it at her, when she’s tired, but wriggling. Or how many exasperated sighs there have been while moving her back across to her Daddy’s side of the bed. Fridays are for slumber parties at our house. She puts on her jammies and climbs under the covers with […]

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A Dance With Her Father

A dance with her father

It’s getting late and she’s fading, so he carries her around the dance floor. It’s been past her bedtime and like most three-year-olds she’s oscillating between euphoria and utter despair. I want to tell her how special this moment is to her father. That years from now when they dance, she’ll be able to look […]

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To the Baby Waiting…

To the Baby Waiting by Liza Dora

I know you’re in there, I can feel you. I am trying to be well for you. I’m afraid and I’m wagering a sense of safety against the desire to look into your eyes. I cannot shake the feeling that you will still somehow complete our already perfect little family. I imagine you’ll look like […]

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This Time

this-time-by-liza-dora

I woke up next to her this morning. I let her sleep with me the nights her daddy is gone. Her eyes are closed and her chest rises and falls with each soft breath. She awakes each morning with a halo of curls. The fuzzy soft waves blur the lines of her face against the […]

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Saltgrass

Saltgrass-By-Liza-dora

If you’re going to lose your shit, it should be in a Saltgrass Steakhouse. The seats are fake leather and tears just roll right off. The bathroom has lots of paper towels and they are usually located near the bar, where oftentimes there are already people crying anyway. They also have hooks on the door […]

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Ruined

ruined. by liza dora

I’m not a fan of bathing suits. My hips have never been narrow enough. Possibly, not even when I was born. My waist is too wide, no matter how thin I am, and my shoulders too broad, even when dropped. Even at my thinnest I would sit tall and ridged next to the pool, so there […]

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Dragons

dragons-by-liza-dora

“I don’t want to be scared of the dragon, momma.” She whined and twisted her hand away from mine. I snapped at her. I jerked her arm to keep her still and she began to cry. What I missed, while looking for grain-free dog food, was the giant, inflatable dragon behind me. The one standing […]

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Back to School

back-to-school-by-liza-dora

I know she cries a lot without me. Please be patient with her. She’s used to being held close. After a week of crying about my diagnosis a year ago, I picked her up and I’m not sure I ever put her back down. How could I? With her ready smile, her dancing eyes, her […]

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LTYM and the Rebirth of a “PaperGirl”

I'm pretty sure this was my face the entire time I was reading.

When I saw the open call for the San Antonio incarnation of “Listen To Your Mother”, I decided to give it a shot. On the day of the auditions, I tripped as I walked through the door. I literally “stumbled in off the street”. When I was called back, I talked so much that the […]

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The Thing About Giants

Fatherhood

I wasn’t always sure I wanted to be a mom, but he was always sure he wanted to be a dad. He went to every appointment with me when we got pregnant. (Yes, “we”. It was a joint venture.) He was the first to hold her. The first to change her diaper. The first to […]

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My Daughter IS My Best Friend

My Daughter IS My best Friend By Liza Dora

“Don’t be friends with your kids.” “Don’t be a friend. Be a parent.” “I’m not your friend, I’m your mom.”   Did you nod? Sure. Me, too. Before I had a kid. Before I spent close to every waking minute willing another human to survive and duct taping cushions to everything in our house. Before […]

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Tell Her

I will liza dora

I put her in her bed early tonight, because I’m tired and potty training is hard. I got in the bath and scrolling through Facebook, I read a post about a little boy whose eyes began to cross and his mothers lost him after a year. Again I thanked God that cancer happened to me […]

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Let Them Be Little

Let them be little by liza dora

It’s starting to happen more often, now. A judgment made that she’s too old to be in diapers. The expectation that she has any concept of age or enough motor control to hold up two specific fingers on command from a stranger. I had an uncle who had to bring his birth certificate to every […]

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Praying for You

Praying-for-you-liza-dora

My husband routinely prays before each meal. I am usually knee deep in spaghetti by the time I take notice and join in. Our daughter will clasp her hands and watch him as he prays. When he says “Amen”, she shouts it and joins me in the sauce-y depths. I have long journeyed in my […]

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Girls Are Magic

girls-are-magic-liza-dora

You were watching a cartoon yesterday, some innocuous thing, and a character flicked her wand. Sparks shot from the end and she changed the world around her. I was folding clothes when you asked what it was. “Magic,” I said and you inched closer to the TV. “Girls are magic,” you whispered and I caught my breath. […]

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Valentine’s Day

Liza Dora Valentine's Day

Last year on Feb 14th I got a package in the mail. It was a dozen chocolate covered strawberries. They were beautiful and sweet and they weren’t from my husband. When I was 21 and in college I hardly dated. I’m a terrible dater. I’m an asshole when I’m nervous and the only times I’ve […]

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“Is She His?”

Is She His? by Liza Dora

It’s not OK to insinuate I cheated on my husband. It’s not OK to ask if she’s really his. I know you’re not funny. It’s become obvious in the last 15 seconds. But let’s think about a more appropriate way to break the ice. Something less private, like how much money we make or possibly […]

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I Married You

I married You Liza Dora

The baby is crying and I’m cooking dinner. The dog is barking at his shadow, or possibly a butterfly flapping its wings in China. The trash can is overflowing and I’ve asked you to empty it four times. I drop an eggshell onto the floor and suddenly, it’s a standoff between three parties. We all […]

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The Invisible Boy

The Invisible Boy Liza Dora

My daughter was born on Halloween. I “technically” picked this for her birthday since I was having a C-section. My though process was this: 1. Fun Parties 2. GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME, RIGHT NOW. Last week we were all trucking through the chaotic abyss that was Target before Halloween, and I heard a […]

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White Friends: Don’t Be Afraid Of The Hashtag

White Friends: Don't Be Afraid Of The Hashtag

This is why “Black Lives Matter” I know your hearts. I know that you feel like you don’t know what to say. I know you love your black neighbors, your co-workers, your friends. I know you pray for them. I know you just wish everyone would get along, but this is what you’re not getting […]

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