Baby. Birds.

Baby Birds Liza Dora

As soon as I had my daughter, the questions began. Seriously, the kid still had afterbirth smudges and well-meaning nurses, family members, friends, strangers started to ask if I was ready for a second child. “Do you want another one?” Another what? Another Norco? Yes, please. “Are you ready to get started on the next […]

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Dear The Movies,

Dear the Movies Liza Dora

I watch a lot of you (movies). In fact, I LOVE you. I love exchanging a few hours of my life to hear/see/watch/experience a story. I’m all about diving into another world and will, like most people, happily suspend belief to experience a well-told story but… I have a few concerns: 1. Why did you […]

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An Intervention for Mommy Bloggers

No Nose No Problem

*Liza enters. Sits down. Takes out a letter. Unfolds. Reads.* Dear Mommy Bloggers, as you may have already guessed this is an intervention. I say this with love as a sometimes mommy blogger myself—you (we) have a (few) problem(s). 1. Let’s cool it with the wine jokes. Sparingly they can be funny, if a little […]

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Some Feminists Bake Cookies

Photo Credit: Internet gods.

Sometimes I say the word feminist and I can feel people shrinking away from me as visions of bra-burning, and unshaved-armpits dance in their heads. These aren’t just men shying away from these conversations—it’s women. Good friends of mine, who are smart, powerful, successful, strong women. Feminists in all but name. They are scared of […]

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The Mother Load

The Mother Load - Liza Dora

So, I’m that girl. The one that hated pregnancy. The one crushed by guilt anytime someone around me confides they can’t conceive. Because I hated it. SO. MUCH. I was nauseous through my first two trimesters and I gained 48 pounds in my last. I was hot, uncomfortable and didn’t sleep for the last eight […]

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Dating Advice for My Former Self

Dating Advice for My Former Self

Hey you! Yes you, there, with your awful frizzy hair and mouthful of braces. You with your knobby knees and secret love of books about horses. I’d like to give you a few tips to save us both some grief. That boy is not for you. I know He’s cute, now, with his sandy brown […]

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30 is the New F^%$ Y&@

liza-dora

We live in a culture that values youth so much it’s disturbing. 40 is the new 20. 55 is the new 35. What’s so wrong with forty? With fifty-five? And I love the quality programming that is the Real Housewives franchises, but why the hell is everyone wearing a bikini?! I understand the vanity involved […]

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10 Obvious Pieces of Unsolicited Parenting Advice

Parenting Advice

You’ll wish you’d thought of it (except you DID)… 1. Don’t let the baby touch that cactus. You know I was thinking that, but she’s so damn persuasive. Thanks to you, concerned citizen, for commenting and strengthening my resolve. (Context: Sitting in a restaurant with a 1 month old Lena asleep in her carrier.) 2. […]

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Slutty Isn’t Funny

UCB

I’m not a fan of vulgar. I love a well-placed curse word, but I don’t really do fart jokes (I cringe even writing that). I’ll give a polite smile. Maybe fake a laugh, because I also hate awkward social situations – but not a fan. I have no issue with the bodily functions themselves. I […]

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It’s (Not) a Boy!

darryl-dora

It was a Tuesday afternoon. My husband and I were at the grocery store, our three month-old daughter snuggled in her carrier amongst two of gallons of milk and six different types of cheese. (I like dairy. A lot.) A guy came up to my husband and wanted to shake his hand. This happens fairly […]

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Not So Hot Yoga

Uninterested dog

I am in the midst of a crisis of faith. When you are in crisis it’s common to feel the need to blame someone. Some people blame family. Some people blame circumstances. Some people blame themselves. I blame Groupon. If you are unfamiliar with Groupon, it is a cleverly run coupon site designed to separate […]

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Let’s Go Band

Let's Go Band

My everyday jewelry is pretty modest. My wedding ring, my Aggie ring and a pair of diamond studs. I’d been going to nursing school before this whole cancer vacation kicked in and they discourage jewelry. Suffice it to say, I rarely delve into my jewelry box, but deep down in the bowels of that hand […]

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Coping

Coping-Liza-Dora

I’m still waiting on a surgical appointment. They didn’t get a negative margin on the mass. That means another surgery. A sequel. I’m calling it “Return to the Eye”. Or “Total Eyeball”. Or “Eye Know What You Did Last Surgery”.* Since I have to have another surgery my medical appointment was rescheduled. So I haven’t […]

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The Super Bowl

Ocular Melanoma

Part 1 I don’t know who won the Super Bowl. I want to make that one word but I know it will give Jolie tiny broken capillaries in her brain from stress when she reads this–so I won’t. Remember this later when you all think I’m an asshole. We were waiting in line at the […]

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