Black and Brown Moms

My husband was gone last week for work. Two things happen when he’s away. I turn the house into a giant mousetrap style maze for buglers. My 6YO daughter sleeps in bed with me. I don’t sleep much when she sleeps with me. She’s long and tends to kick. I know the time together is […]

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Slow

slow-by-liza-dora

You started crawling two days before your first birthday. Your sister was running by then. Holding things. Had I not spent enough time with you? She takes most of my time and you were so content to cling to my chest and watch. You still won’t hold your bottle. You can, but you won’t. Other […]

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Heavens to Betsy

I wrote a blog post over a year ago about trying to come to grips with being a family of three. It was an emotional post and, as always, the comments from friends were supportive and kind, but one response in particular stuck out. A friend of my parents said that after her first son […]

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“You Look Beautiful, Mom.”

“You look beautiful, Mom,” she says from the doorway. But I don’t. I’m still 30 pounds overweight and my hair is a mess. My jeans don’t fit and my skin is breaking out. I have eye make up on-—possibly from weeks ago. She’s wandered to the bathroom as I’ve just finished washing my face. She […]

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Sweet Girl

sweet-girl-by-liza-dora

“She’s not tough enough for school,” my husband says over dinner. I know and I’m scared too, but at least one of us is supposed to know what we’re doing, so I parrot the conventional wisdom of the status quo to quiet his fears. “She’ll toughen up.” “She’ll figure it out.” I was too nice […]

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7 Third Trimester Truths

7-third-trimester-truths-by-liza-dora

1. You will basically lick sugar off the floor. A friend asked me if I wanted a cupcake tower or a cake at my shower. What I really want is to mainline some liquified Sour Patch Kids and then chase it with a line of Pixie Stix. In hindsight, I should’ve gone with cupcake tower […]

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Mother’s Day

mothers-day-liza-dora

I’ve written this piece before. In my head, after she’s fallen asleep. In the car, on the way to work. In the hours of the morning I still have to myself. I didn’t deserve her today. Not the smile she gave me when I walked through the door. Not the tiny arms that ensnared my […]

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This Time

this-time-by-liza-dora

I woke up next to her this morning. I let her sleep with me the nights her daddy is gone. Her eyes are closed and her chest rises and falls with each soft breath. She awakes each morning with a halo of curls. The fuzzy soft waves blur the lines of her face against the […]

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Back to School

back-to-school-by-liza-dora

I know she cries a lot without me. Please be patient with her. She’s used to being held close. After a week of crying about my diagnosis a year ago, I picked her up and I’m not sure I ever put her back down. How could I? With her ready smile, her dancing eyes, her […]

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Girls Are Magic

girls-are-magic-liza-dora

You were watching a cartoon yesterday, some innocuous thing, and a character flicked her wand. Sparks shot from the end and she changed the world around her. I was folding clothes when you asked what it was. “Magic,” I said and you inched closer to the TV. “Girls are magic,” you whispered and I caught my breath. […]

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Inside Voice

Inside-Voice-by-Liza-Dora

I hate loud noises. I sleep with earplugs or I don’t sleep; and when I was teaching I could hear a whisper from a classroom away. If you have had the pleasure of attending a movie with me, then you know I don’t wear earrings because I use my fingers to press my earlobes into […]

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Ghosts

Ghosts Liza Dora

I don’t know what it is about turning thirty but it’s something. Some publication just said the 30’s have now gone from the happiest to the unhappiest decade. It’s hard not to wonder, when you live in a culture that idolizes youth, when do you start losing value? I still think a lot about different […]

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#GirlMomma

Girl Momma by Liza Dora

I get it, you’re new. That sounds strange to you still. Girl momma. You see the #BoyMomma hashtag all the time. You identified with it, and this—this is so new. It’s ok if you’re a little scared. It is different. Your boys are growing up in a world where they will likely make more money […]

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What Your Child Did For Mine

what-your-child-did-for-mine-by-liza-dora

A friend shared your Facebook page with me. I saw in the top photo a date. Your daughter had already passed. I was late. I read your most recent post. It was written to be light but a heaviness hung in the spaces between sentences. I scrolled to the bottom of your page and began […]

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A Week Ago Today

A Week Ago Today Liza Dora

Today felt really normal didn’t it? You carried around your elephant and made it eat the couch. We read books. We baked bread. Before lunch we played outside. You waved hello to birds and chased butterflies, singing out confidently “I got it, I got it”, even though you never did. You lay quietly for a […]

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